i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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