My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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