Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
