I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
