You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I am available for nakedness
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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