I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
