I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
