Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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