Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
