its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
