Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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