Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
