Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
