3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
