the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize