ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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