They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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