Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
