ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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