So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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