you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
