Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
