How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
