All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
