this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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