I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
