Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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