i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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