so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
