I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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