"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize