Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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