We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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