we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
