I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
