There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
