If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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