OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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