i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
