She's JV to your varsity
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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