i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize