we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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