we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
