If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
