you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
