Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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