all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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