2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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