Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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