i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
