You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
