So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
