I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
