Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
