Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
