everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
