Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
