thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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