Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
