Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
