I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
