I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
