OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
