i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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